MyHeritage: Family trees - Genealogy - Celebrities - Collage - Morph

Needless to say, I am apparently a horrible blogger. I just cant seem to force myself to come up with anything I think people will find interesting enough to read. That and the fact that my life is one big routine with not a lot of new things going on in the midst of everyday life.
I am working two part time jobs, loving both in different ways but making peanuts and meanwhile trying to find a full time while feeling invisible to those who are looking for a new employee. I am tired. I think that most days my mentality is hunker down and get through this period because something better has to be coming right? Not that life isnt great and im not counting my blessings, blah blah blah.... I just am ready for an "easier," "less stressful" time of life. In the meantime, most days I just hide behind work, or cleaning the house, watching too much TV, or getting lost in a book. Trying not to pay attention to how stressful my life is right now. Pretending like I am not worried about money or jobs; pretending like all is well and we will get through, which of course we will. This too shall pass......right?

I realized last week that I am waiting for my "real" life to start. By real life I mean the life where Tyler and I both have good paying full times jobs, benefits, a kid or two, we are financially secure, able to go on vacations, dont have to work on nights or weekends, etc. I feel like I am on pause spiritually, emotionally, and even physically until this "real life" starts up. I obviously am aware that this is foolish thinking but that does not make it feel any less true to me. I am determined to start making a conscious effort to enjoy the "now" of my life and try to convince my spirit, mind, and body to stop waiting for something that may or may not happen in the future. I am sure that real joy and content is found when you learn to live in and enjoy your "now." This similar lesson keeps popping up for me.... fancy that. :)